“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”
~ T.S. Elliot
OUR APPROACH
more than darkness
Over the last six years, in being with almost a thousand people through extended darkness, we’ve found that the type of experience someone has in the dark has a great deal to do with the container surrounding it.
Equally important is an understanding of what tends to happen on a nervous system level, and an orientation that supports the particular kind of exposure that darkness brings while allowing the experience itself to lead.
Simply going into darkness alone, in and of itself, is not something we’ve found to be particularly beneficial.
What we have found to matter deeply is attuned and experienced darkness retreat support, an understanding of the subtleties and nuances specific to this experience, and the quality of connection that is present.
Together, these can allow the darkness to be nurtureful, deeply meaningful, and simply connective.
At the heart of what we offer is a gentle field of permission to meet the experience as it actually is.
" No pratices are even necessary
for this quest"
- Ramana Maharshi
"THE ONLY CHOICE WE HAVE
as we mature
IS HOW WE INHABIT OUR VULNERABILITY."
~ David Whyte
The same strategies we rely on in daily life to avoid discomfort and manage overwhelm follow us into the dark.
In extended darkness, most defenses and survival patterns are not obvious from the inside because they are reflexive, often operating beneath conscious awareness. Fear, agitation, discomfort, sadness, loneliness, and boredom can surface in unexpected ways, often activating familiar protective strategies.
Fight, flight, and freeze can quietly begin to shape how someone experiences and reacts to the darkness.
Over years of accompanying people through this process, we’ve found that recognizing these subtle shifts and understanding how to meet them without pushing, overriding, or reinforcing them can profoundly impact how someone moves through the experience.
LISTENING BENEATH THE STORY
the body in darkness
Darkness is profoundly exposing.
With so little external input, distraction, or orientation, our mind and body increasingly become the world we inhabit, revealing and amplifying the patterns we are living in ways that can be difficult to recognize in ordinary life.
Our somatic approach supports a recognition of these patterns and an invitation to meet them in the body.
We support a simple and intimate relationship with what is actually being felt, allowing the experience to be met through direct contact with the body rather than solely through our mental understanding of it.
In our experience, this embodied orientation becomes especially important because it allows us to begin recognizing the distinction between the story the mind is telling and what the body is actually communicating, and to begin following our felt sense experience. That distinction and shift can profoundly shape the retreat.
"WE AWAKEN TO THIS TENDERNESS FOR LIFE,
THE VULNERABILITY OF OUR CONDITION, FROM THE BASIC FRAGILITY OF EXISTENCE."
when we can no longer shield ourselves from
~ Pema Chödrön
WHY SUPPORT MATTERS
being together
A darkness retreat is not a peak experience. It is an exposing experience. It is a vulnerable experience. It is a profoundly confronting experience.
The support we offer is not about fixing or changing what arises, or leading someone toward a particular outcome. We are here to support you in connecting in the most direct way that you can to your authentic embodied experience.
Over the years, we’ve found that when there is enough safety and connection, the need to manage our experience or make something happen begins to soften. The simplicity opens. The listening deepens. The subtleties emerge. We become more receptive and available to what is actually here. A new possibility can begin to emerge.
We’re not trying to create a particular darkness retreat experience. We’re creating the conditions for each person to meet their own embodied experience in a way that is deeply supported and rooted in connection.
From here, the darkness can be nurtureful, deeply meaningful, and simply connective.
take notice of the underlying sensations
THAT ACTUALLY INFORM YOU ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL"
~ Peter Levine
In the vast unknown of the darkness, we invite you to use your body as an anchor.
To settle into a simple and intimate relating with what you're feeling in their body.
To nurture and tend to your hearts.
To receive care.
To discover the depths, richness and subtleties in nothing special - in the utter simplicity of your being
"TO EXPERIENCE EMBODIED AWARENESS,
take notice of the underlying sensations
THAT ACTUALLY INFORM YOU ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL"
FOLLOWING WHAT EMERGES
your own rythym
There is no single right way to be in the dark and no particular outcome we are trying to lead someone toward.
Everyone arrives for different reasons, each with their own history, nervous system, and relationship to themselves.
Our orientation and support are deeply individualized to the person and to what is actually emerging in the moment. Rather than pushing toward a breakthrough or particular experience, we allow each person’s nervous system to set the pace.
Some of the most meaningful moments we’ve witnessed have come when someone lets go of the idea of what they think they should do, takes a pause, lets nurture lead, and begins listening to their own unique rhythm.
"SAFETY IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF THREAT,
but the presence of connection
~ Stephen Porges
One of the things we’ve learned through accompanying people in darkness is how difficult it can be to recognize our own patterns from inside of them.
Part of the support staff’s role is to attune to your nervous system. They listen for the subtle signs and signals that may show the animal body, through instinctive survival responses, has taken over.
Having another presence to engage with in a reflective way can help you notice and register your own nervous system state, while supporting a felt sense of safety and connection.
And from this ground of safety, something different becomes possible. As the body truly settles, you soften and open, becoming receptive and available. The listening deepens, and perspective shifts. You’re able to meet the darkness directly.